Letters to Aiden -- A serial supplement to The SCARS Series

Shadows. All I see is shadows. Everything is blurry.

“Damn it David, You should have never come here. Do you see what you did to her? She is fucked up. In all of my life I have never seen Jordan like this.”

“I didn’t come over to hurt her, Beth. I wanted to check on her. Nobody has been able to get past her mother to check on her. I swear that woman is like a hawk watching over her babies. We cannot even pull into the driveway without that woman coming after us with a fucking baseball bat. Shannon said Jordan was here and I came to check on her. I hate what she is going through, but we are all going through it.”

“No, David. We are not all going through it. We know how we feel, but Jordan is different. None of us truly know what she feels, what she is going through. She went to Aiden’s grave today and came back so distraught all she would do is lay on that bean bag and whimper. She sounds like a dying cat the way she sounds.”

“She needs to talk to someone.”

“Well, you most definitely are not that person. You need to stay as far away from her as possible. If not, she may actually kill you. I have never seen her that angry. Close, but never this bad. You really need to leave before she comes to.”

“Fine, but someday soon, I will talk to her. I need her to know that I fucked up and I am sorry.”

“Today is not going to be the day. You had better be glad when she collapsed that she was by the couch and didn’t hit her head on anything. I think it would be in your best interest to turn yourself in and face the consequences. The police have already been asking around. Before long, they are going to get the proof they need to have you up on manslaughter charges.”

“I know the police are asking questions, they have been to the house a few times. I keep telling them that Aiden was driving when we left the store and that I don’t remember anything after that.”

“You lied to the police. Do you realize how much trouble you are going to be in if they find out different?”

“I didn’t really lie to them. I don’t remember anything after the store.”

“Well, you need to do a bit of soul searching, figure out what you need to do. One thing you need to do right now is leave, she is beginning to mumble. I can’t say what Jordan will do when she comes to, but I have a feeling you will not leave here fully intact”

“Okay, Okay. I’m going. I will call you later. Just promise me you will take care of her.”

“I will do my best. Like I said, I have never seen her like this.”

#letterstoaiden #scarsseries #amwriting #romance #painandloss #sorrow 

Letters to Aiden -- A serial Supplement to The Scars Series

August, 1991

My Dearest Aiden,

I went to your grave today. Your headstone has been placed and the grass is beginning to look more uniform. It is such an improvement from the fresh dirt with chunks of grass placed on top. The dirt has settled and the grass plugs have grown to full cover. Everything still seems surreal. I don’t know how to move on with my life. I know that life goes on. Like the grass plugs that were placed over your grave after the burial have grown full and lush; I need to move on and grow to achieve something beautiful. Unfortunately, I cannot force myself to move forward.

Mom says there is no reason for me to still be depressed. That I should move on since I am “too young to really know what love is”. After you died, I thought mom understood my pain and supported me. Boy, was I wrong. She fed me Valium for three weeks. I thought she was trying to help me cope with what was happening to me. When she stopped giving it to me, I found out what it was truly about. She wasn’t trying to help me. All she was doing was buying time. I think she had the impression that I would forget about you after a few weeks. Personally, I think it has forced me deeper into that pit. I don’t want to get up in the morning. I don’t want to talk to anyone on the phone. I don’t want to go anywhere. I DON”T WANT TO LIVE!

      Please come and get me; take me to be with you. I refuse to function. I am broken. I am dead.

#amwriting #scarsseries #romance #letterstoaiden #death #mourning #copingwithdeath

Letters to Aiden -- A Serial Supplement to The Scars Series

My Dearest Aiden,

This past week has been the hardest week I have ever had to experience. I don’t quite know how to go on with my life without you in it. What am I supposed to do now? It was supposed to be you and me – forever. Well baby, “forever” has been taken away from me. I am so alone and so scared. Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you love me enough to stay with me?  All I want to do now is die, maybe then we can be together again.

Your funeral was yesterday. I don’t remember much about the funeral, but that is no surprise. There is a lot of the past week that I do not remember. I think I had to go through the line three times at your viewing before the reality hit me that you were the one lying in that coffin. They dressed you in a suit that made you look handsome but whomever fixed your hair parted it wrong. I wanted so badly to take my fingers and fix it but I know that would have caused a bit of a commotion. As it was, I caused enough of a scene myself but I had to give you one last kiss. I had to be able to say goodbye in my own way. Mom says that I needed closure. I tried, but I will never have that closure. It may have been your body lying in that coffin, but it wasn’t you. Your body was so still, and cold. I will never get that image of you out of my head. It was not the Aiden I know, rather, the Aiden I knew. The Aiden I knew was warm, loving, and full of life. 

During the funeral I couldn’t bring myself to sit up front with your parents. It didn’t feel right. I know they are mourning their loss, the loss of their only child. Your mom is devastated and I doubt your dad has drank anything but beer during the last week. I wish I could have a drink. Mom will not let me be alone. I guess she is scared that I will try to hurt myself. She just doesn’t understand the pain I am going through. Hell, I can’t even understand the pain I am going through. I have never had to endure these types of feelings before in my life.

David was there, at the funeral. He sat up front with your parents. He should have never been able to sit with them. It just didn’t seem right. In fact, nothing about this entire situation seems right. How is it that David survived the accident and you didn’t? He looked like hell up front sitting in a wheelchair, and he has been acting strange; almost as if he is hiding something. What am I missing? I just cannot shake this feeling that something is off.

No matter what, Aiden, I want you to know that I will always love you. I love you more than you could have ever imagined and, truth be told, this hurts more than anyone will ever know. I feel so guilty. I should have been with you. I should have never went with Amy and Amy. If I had been with you, this never would have happened. This is all my fault; my fault for abandoning you and our plans to go out. Why did I have to change our plans? Why didn’t I just go meet with you instead of heading home that night? I should have gone to you, but I didn’t and now I will never get to see you again. I will never get to hear your voice, feel your touch, or hear your heartbeat. When I got home that night, something wasn’t right and I knew it. I couldn’t sleep at all, and when I did finally fall asleep, I didn’t sleep well. In fact, I had nightmares most of the night. I woke up crying the next morning; even before I called your house. Before I ever knew anything had happened.

Was it you, Aiden? Did you come to me in my sleep to warn me of what I would wake to? Were you trying to prepare me for what was to come? If that was it, thank you, but I don’t think anything could have ever prepared me for what was to come. I just wish you knew how much this hurts. No, actually I would never wish this pain on anyone. It hurts so much. I just want to curl up in a ball on the bed and sleep. I want to sleep forever and never wake up because then I will have to come to terms that you are not here. In fact, you will never be here with me again. Ever! Why can’t I just die?  

#LetterstoAiden #Scars Series #Life #Death #Love #Loss #Grief #Romance #Amwriting #Amreading #Coping

2015 is already over halfway gone and I am still working on Mending the Wounds. I want to let the fans know that while it is taking a while to finish -- it will be well worth it. 

Mending is going to be an extremely emotional read for everyone as it showcases the trials and tribulations people endure during cancer treatments. Where Mending will stand out from other books with this storyline is that it will showcase multiple POV's and each persons reactions and emotions.

Please bear with me while I ensure that you will love Mending.

I didn't fall off the face of the earth.

Busy Busy Busy....Finished editing a work by an author named C.Craig Coleman....if you like The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons type reading....check his work out.

Still working on finishing MENDING THE WOUNDS as well as recording and editing 5 audiobooks for various audiobooks.

All three books in the SCARS SERIES are now available not just on Amazon but now can be found on Google Books and Nook. Still finishing up setting them all up for iBooks. Will post links as soon as they are available.

Big News --- I put in an offer on a house today ..... Wish me luck.

Lots of Love.

SCARS SERIES EXPANDING ACROSS PLATFORMS

SCARRED, WOUNDED BY HER, and SHATTERED by C.R. Gress are all now available on Nook.

SCARRED: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/scarred-cr-gress/1117736871?ean=2940..

WOUNDED BY HER: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wounded-by-her-c-r-gress/1119062127?..

SHATTERED: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shattered-c-r-gress/1120432457?ean=9..

I am still working to get them all uploaded to iBooks.

All three books are currently available on Amazon, Nook, and Google Books.

#amwriting #amreading #amexpanding #googlebooks #amazon #nookbook#scarsseries #ebooks #romance

Author C.R.Gress March Updates

Well it's already March and boy does it seem that the year is already moving so fast.

I have finished recording an audiobook short named "Dominated by the Billionaire and the Shiek" and am patiently waiting for approval from the rights holder as well as ACX to perform their quality checks so hopefully I am looking at a two week window for it to be available for purchase.

I am also in the process of recording the third story in a four story bundle titled "Threesome Desires". This one is not due until the end of April but I want to go ahead and get it finished soon.

Don't think that I have give up on writing because that is so far from the truth -- I am diligently working on Mending the Wounds (Scars Series Book 4) but this is a very emotional book and takes quite a bit of finesse to deliver it the way I want it.

Another project I am working on is slowly formatting and uploading my first three books (Scarred, Wounded by Her, and Shattered) to Google Books, Nook, Barnes & Noble, iBooks and more so that they are ready with my latest enrollment in Kindle Select is up (April) so that I am not restricted to selling just on Amazon. Soon they will all be available anywhere you look.

If anyone has any questions or comments, please feel free to message me.

#amwriting #amreading #amrecording #ebooks #audiobooks #romance #erotica#iBooks #googlebooks #nookbooks